Ho-ho-ho! Santa is gonna have no trouble figuring out what to get this guy for Christmas.

 

We're talking about Jim Kosek, a TV weatherman. Jim apparently is an Indianapolis Colts fan who has grown more and more frustrated as the winless season plods along. So he made a public promise that he would wear his wife's Colts attire until the team does win. Now there are two curious things about this:

 

One -- He made this vow when they were 11-0 and about to play at New England.

 

Two -- The only Colts attire that his wife owns are a pair of panties.

 

 

Last Week: No excuses needed for a change. A solid 12-4 straight up (122-70 for the season) and 9-7 against the spread (96-89-7 for season). We are so encouraged that we are close to pledging that if we fail to reach Page One of the Beat Jerry standings, we'll wear some ladies' clothing, too. (No, Daniels, we're not talking about a girdle.)

 

Thursday: Picked Pittsburgh but never expected it to be close until the end. So we're 1-0 going into Sunday.

 

Indianapolis (0-12) at Baltimore (9-3) -- Ravens favored by 16.5 -- Colts need to let Curtis Painter throw at least one more pass. He got benched last week with his passer rating stuck at 66.6. That can't be good.

    Jerry says: Ravens by 66.

 

Buffalo (5-7) at San Diego (5-7) -- DisChargers favored by 7 -- Once upon a time, these two chump teams were a combined 9-3, meaning they have been a combined 1-11 since. Seems wrong to pick either one.

    Jerry says: DisChargers but just by 3 as both try to lose at end.

 

Atlanta (7-5) at Carolina (4-8) -- Falcons favored by 3 -- Poor Matt Ryan. The Falcon QB threw 11 times last week to Julio Jones -- and he caught 4. OK, Ryan threw 15 times to Roddy White -- and he caught 4. So if Ryan is smart, he hands off to Michael Turner 120 times.

    Jerry says: Running Falcons by 5.

 

Houston (9-3) at Cincinnati (7-5) -- Bungles favored by 3 -- We told you last week that Bungles record is phony, based entirely on a weak schedule. Texans may be on third QB but its D is good enough for 7th straight win. In fact, with Carolina, Indy and Tennessee after this, Texans may not lose again in regular season. Gary Kubiak for Coach of the Year? Anyone?

    Jerry says: In a Kubiak-Konquors Upset Special, Texans by 10.

 

Minnesota (2-10) at Detroit (7-5) -- Lions favored by 10 -- Looks like the Viking QB may be Joe Webb, which is surprising because of his age. But I loved him in "Dragnet." -- What? Oh, that was Jack Webb who played Joe Friday! Never mind. -- But a shoutout for Harry Morgan. who co-starred with Webb back in the '50s. Morgan left us this week after a career that began in 1942, the same year that I began.

    Jerry says: Lions but as a salute to Jack and Harry, just by 7.

 

Oakland (7-5) at Green Bay (12-0) -- Cheeseheads favored by 11.5 -- Raiders travel to Wisconsin after getting blown away in Miami 34-16. Said Coach Hue Jackson: "This football team didn't play well on offense, defense or special teams." -- Yeah, Hue, but your guys look great getting off the bus.

    Jerry says: 'Heads but just by 8.

 

Tampa Bay (4-8) at Jacksonville (3-9) -- Yucs favored by 2 -- GanGreene Florida-Sucks Game of the Year: Jags have fired their coach while Yucs say they are playing to save the job of Raheem Morris and his staff. What should be done is fire everybody except Maurice Jones-Drew, who deserves to be on a real team.

    Jerry says: In a Win-One-for-Maurice Upset Special, Gags by 6.

 

Philadelphia (4-8) at Miami (4-8) -- Fish favored by 3 -- Even with a victory Sunday, Andy Reid probably can't save his job. And a change makes sense. His Eagles got to the Super Bowl after 2004 season but, since then, are 61-53-1, way too mediocre for Philly. And rest of this season is Jets, Dallas and Washington so he's probably got at least 10 losses. He's a Big-Boned Brother, but it's time.

    Jerry says: Fish by 15.

 

Kansas City (5-7) at East Rutherford Jets (7-5) -- Jets favored by 10.5 -- You know what? I just don't care. The Chiefs are irrelevant and I'm sick of the Jets.

    Jerry says: Jets by 12 but I don't care.

 

New Orleans (9-3) at Tennessee (7-5) -- Saints favored by 3 -- This is weird. Three weeks ago the Titans lost in Atlanta 23-17. Got that? Two weeks ago the Titans beat the Yucs 23-17. Got that? Last week the Titans beat the Bills -- wait for it -- 23-17. Want to guess the score Sunday?

    Jerry says: Saints by 23-17.

 

New England (9-3) at Washington (4-8) -- Patriots favored by 8 -- I gave you the tip about Roy Helu last week but you probably ignored it. This week we'll point out that the Native Americans have 20 total TDs -- while the Pats have 30 TDs just passing. 'Nuff said.

    Jerry says: Patriots by 12.

 

San Francisco (10-2) at Arizona (5-7) -- Niners favored by 2 -- Did you know the Niners have not allowed a rushing TD this year? The NFL record is 4 and the Niners have 4 games left. This just in: Niner D is good.

    Jerry says: Niners by 9.

 

Chicago (7-5) at Denver (7-5) -- Tebows favored by 3.5 -- Now even Vegas is on board. Meanwhile the Bears say they are expanding their playbook for QB Caleb Haynie. -- Yes, he's now on Page 2.

    Jerry says: Tebows by 7.

 

East Rutherford Giants (6-6) at Dallas (7-5) -- Sunday night -- Cowboys favored by 3.5 -- Giants have given up 87 points in last 2 games. Yes, it was against Saints and Packers but 87 points? And didn't we think defense was the Giants' strength? Plus, Cowboys got starting FB back, which will open up running game. Only danger for Dallas is if Jason Garrett has to make a decision.

    Jerry says: Cowboys by 17 so Jason can't muck it up.

 

St. Louis (2-10) at Seattle (5-7) -- Monday night -- SeaTurkeys favored by 9.5 -- Seriously, how does ESPN end up with these games for prime time? Last week the Lambs never got past the Niners' 35. So on Monday night, introducing QB Tom Brandstater! Far as I know, Tom is from Mars.

    Jerry says: 'Turkeys by 15.

 

That's it, gang. Get those entries in and don't take your eyes off your rear-view mirror 'cause that's me closing in.